As long ago as 1860 it was the proper thing to be
born at home. At present, so I am told, the high gods of medicine have decreed
that the first cries of the young shall be uttered upon the anaesthetic air of
a hospital, preferably a fashionable one. So young Mr. and Mrs. Roger Button
were fifty years ahead of style when they decided, one day in the summer of
1860, that their first baby should be born in a hospital. Whether this
anachronism had any bearing upon the astonishing history I am about to set down
will never be known.
I shall tell you what occurred, and let you judge
for yourself.
The Roger Buttons held an enviable position, both
social and financial, in ante-bellum
Baltimore. They were related to the This Family and the That Family, which, as
every Southerner knew, entitled them to membership in that enormous aristocracy
which largely populated the Confederacy. This was their first experience with
the charming old custom of having babies—Mr. Button was naturally nervous. He
hoped it would be a boy so that he could be sent to Yale College in Connecticut, at which
institution Mr. Button himself had been known for four years by the somewhat
obvious nickname of "Cuff."
On the September morning consecrated to the enormous
event he arose nervously at six o'clock dressed himself, adjusted an impeccable
scarf, and hurried forth through the streets of Baltimore to the hospital, to
determine whether the darkness of the night had borne in new life upon its
bosom.
Saturday Evening Post. Fitzgerald on the cover. Wikipedia |
When he was approximately a hundred yards from the
Maryland Private Hospital for Ladies and Gentlemen he saw Doctor Keene, the
family physician, descending the front steps, rubbing his hands together with a
washing movement—as all doctors are required to do by the unwritten ethics of
their profession.
Mr. Roger Button, the president of Roger Button
& Co., Wholesale Hardware, began to run toward Doctor Keene with much less
dignity than was expected from a Southern gentleman of that picturesque period.
"Doctor Keene!" he called. "Oh,
Doctor Keene!"
The doctor heard him, faced around, and stood
waiting, a curious expression settling on his harsh, medicinal face as Mr.
Button drew near.
"What happened?" demanded Mr. Button, as
he came up in a gasping rush. "What was it? How is she? A boy? Who is it?
What—"
"Talk sense!" said Doctor Keene sharply,
He appeared somewhat irritated.
"Is the child born?" begged Mr. Button.
Doctor Keene frowned. "Why, yes, I suppose
so—after a fashion." Again he threw a curious glance at Mr. Button.
"Is my wife all right?"
"Yes."
"Is it a boy or a girl?"
"Here now!" cried Doctor Keene in a
perfect passion of irritation, "I'll ask you to go and see for yourself.
Outrageous!" He snapped the last word out in almost one syllable, then he
turned away muttering: "Do you imagine a case like this will help my
professional reputation? One more would ruin me—ruin anybody."
"What's the matter?" demanded Mr. Button
appalled. "Triplets?"
"No, not triplets!" answered the doctor
cuttingly. "What's more, you can go and see for yourself. And get another
doctor. I brought you into the world, young man, and I've been physician to
your family for forty years, but I'm through with you! I don't want to see you
or any of your relatives ever again! Good-bye!"
Then he turned sharply, and without another word
climbed into his phaeton,
which was waiting at the curbstone, and drove severely away.
Mr. Button stood there upon the sidewalk, stupefied
and trembling from head to foot. What horrible mishap had occurred? He had
suddenly lost all desire to go into the Maryland Private Hospital for Ladies
and Gentlemen—it was with the greatest difficulty that, a moment later, he
forced himself to mount the steps and enter the front door.
A nurse was sitting behind a desk in the opaque
gloom of the hall. Swallowing his shame, Mr. Button approached her.
"Good-morning," she remarked, looking up
at him pleasantly.
"Good-morning. I—I am Mr. Button."
At this a look of utter terror spread itself over
girl's face. She rose to her feet and seemed about to fly from the hall,
restraining herself only with the most apparent difficulty.
"I want to see my child," said Mr. Button.
The nurse gave a little scream. "Oh—of
course!" she cried hysterically. "Upstairs. Right upstairs. Go—up!"
She pointed the direction, and Mr. Button, bathed
in cool perspiration, turned falteringly, and began to mount to the second
floor. In the upper hall he addressed another nurse who approached him, basin
in hand. "I'm Mr. Button," he managed to articulate. "I want to
see my——"
Clank! The basin clattered to the floor and rolled
in the direction of the stairs. Clank! Clank! It began a methodical descent as
if sharing in the general terror which this gentleman provoked.
"I want to see my child!" Mr. Button
almost shrieked. He was on the verge of collapse.
Clank! The basin reached the first floor. The nurse
regained control of herself, and threw Mr. Button a look of hearty contempt.
"All right, Mr. Button," she
agreed in a hushed voice. "Very well! But if you knew what
a state it's put us all in this morning! It's perfectly outrageous! The
hospital will never have a ghost of a reputation after——"
"Hurry!" he cried hoarsely. "I can't
stand this!"
"Come this way, then, Mr. Button." (inglés
más fácil)
Vocabulario
ante-bellum: antes de la guerra, referido a la guerra civil
norteamericana
Yale University: es una universidad privada fundada en 1701. Es la
tercera institución más vieja de educación superior en los Estados Unidos
phaeton: un carro liviano, de cuatro ruedas, abierto, tirado por un par
de caballos
Para
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